"Yes, yes I do." He shifts to face Arashi, curling his hand in return in a tight grip. "I've made you - and everyone - think I have something against what you are. I don't, it's all internalized shit. But with Lily, I don't know if it's internalized garbage, or if I just don't want her to live when my wife died."

He stops, looking strickened. "I'm sorry. I asked you to marry a fucking wreck."